we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
