I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
