We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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