I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I smell like Dick and happiness
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
