yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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