The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
