So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
