Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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