I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
