it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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