Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
