Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
