I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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