Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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