maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize