it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
