who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
