I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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