I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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