After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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