whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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