Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
