on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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