He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
