So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
