someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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