"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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