i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
