Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it glows. i had to have it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
