im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
