But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
