saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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