You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
