Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
