I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
