The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
