I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
