Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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