i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
