If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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