Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
