At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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