He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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