You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
