I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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