The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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