Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
