I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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