I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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