Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
