fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
