oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
