I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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