my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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