i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize