butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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