it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
