Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Randomize
