pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
