I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
