i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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