this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
