Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
