we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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