Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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